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MAD ABOUT YOU Contest |
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| Write a story or poem based on this painting: |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $6.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal.
Prize: The first place winner (in either poetry or prose) will receive $50 and publication in Issue Nine of Mad Hatters' Review. Second and Third place winners' entries will also be published.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: June 15, 2007, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $6.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of "Mad About You " Contest will be announced in Issue 9. |
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TRAJECTORY Contest |
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| Write a story or poem based on this painting: |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $6.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below).
Prize: The first place winner (in either poetry or prose) will receive $50 and publication in Issue Eight of Mad Hatters' Review. Second and Third place winners' entries will also be published.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: February 1, 2007, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $6.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of "Trajectory" Contest will be announced in Issue 8.
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THE WRONG ROOF Contest |
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| Write a story or poem based on this painting: |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $6.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below).
Prize: The first place winner (in either poetry or prose) will receive $50 and publication in Issue Seven of Mad Hatters' Review. Second and Third place winners' entries will also be published.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: EXTENDED --> October 15, 2006, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $6.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of "The Wrong Roof" Contest will be announced in Issue 7.
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FISH AND PLANE Contest |
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| Write a masterpiece based upon either (or both) of these paintings: |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $6.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below).
Prize: The first place winner will receive $50 and a prize to cherish for posterity; the second and third place winners will receive similar prizes, no cash. We will also award a non-monetary prize to the author who has merited "Honorable Mention," if there is such an author in this contest. Each winning entry will be published in the fifth issue of Mad Hatters' Review.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: June 1, 2006, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $6.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of the "Fish & Plane" Contest are announced in Issue 6. |
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Dangerous Alice Contest |
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| Write a masterpiece based upon either (or both) of these paintings: |
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click on images to enlarge |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $5.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below).
Prize: The first place winner will receive $50 and a prize to cherish for posterity; the second and third place winners will receive similar prizes, no cash. We will also award a non-monetary prize to the author who has merited "Honorable Mention," if there is such an author in this contest. Each winning entry will be published in the fifth issue of Mad Hatters' Review.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: December 31, 2005, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $5.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of the "Dangerous Alice" Contest are announced in Issue 5. |
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| Write a masterpiece based on this painting. |
click on image to enlarge |
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Word Limit: 1,000 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, or whatnot.
Entry fee: $5.00. Pay to Mad Hatters' Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below).
Prize: The first, second, and third place winners' creations will be published in the fourth issue of the Mad Hatters' Review. Winners will also receive prizes to cherish for posterity.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: August 15, 2005, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com. In the Subject of email, include the word "CONTEST," your name, title of the gem you are submitting, and word count. In the Body of email, include your submission, your name, bio, email address, permission to publish email address for contact by readers. Include your photo, if you'd like it published, as a low- or medium resolution .jpeg image.
Multiple Submissions: Are allowed. Please include $5.00 entry fee for each submission.
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Winners of the "Write A Masterpiece based on this Hak Song Painting" Contest are announced in Issue 4. |
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| Mad Hatters’ Dada Junk Contest |
This contest is inspired by junk email. We are giving you the skeleton of many a story idea contained in a list of twisted words, which came from a junk email message one of our editors received. OK, so maybe our editor is on a strange email list. Is it any surprise? No. The rest of us didn’t think so either, being on equally strange, if not suspect, lists.
Write a story or a poem using at least seven of the following words or facsimiles thereof (we are not responsible for misspellings). The more words you use the better chance you may have of winning; however, we do value quality over quantity.
BLACKBODY CHARITY MOTLEY NIGHTMARE
TERRESTRIAL ASYMMETRY MARIJUANA SCIENCE
SQUATTED FAMISH DIVISOR ILLUSION HALL
PEGGING BERNSTEIN FORSWEAR TRUCE BALDY
ARMY DETRACT DOGFISH SERPENT BIDDABLE
BOXY ZAGREB HAPPEN ARKANSAN HERACLITES
EFFECTUAL BRIEF AESTHETE PHILANTHROPY
INTRODUCE CORUSCATE ANTHRACNOSE EFFUSION
COCHRANE GNOME BONN CROTCH SLURRY
DEACON OVA MULTIPLY METAL MOTORCYCLE
STOPPAGE WATKINS FLUENCY EXCORIATE BASSO
ANIMISM TROT BIRGI DEAFEN ELECTRET
The word limit is 500 words. The entry can be a flash story, poem, hibird or alien creature.
Entry fee: $5.00. Pay to Mad Hatters’ Review by PayPal (click on PayPal below). The first, second, and third place winners’ creations will be published in the third issue of the Mad Hatters' Review. Winners will also receive surprise awards. Trust us: you will wear and cherish these awards till the day you expire.
Proceeds from contest entrance fees will go towards the cost of designing and maintaining our website. We also hope to make enough money, someday, so we can pay contributors and produce an annual print magazine.
Deadline: June 1, 2005, wherever in the world you happen to be – this world, please.
Submission Requirements: In addition to the usual rules, please submit your creation with the word DADA CONTEST in the beginning of the subject line. All of the contest words must be in bold, and word count must be specified, as well as the number of contest words you’ve employed in your gem. Please copy and paste your submission into the body of the email, and send it to madhattersreview@gmail.com, with "CONTEST" in the subject line.
If you think this strange assignment can't be done, look at Julie Shapiro's story, “Tiger, Dog, Horse McFadden.” Also, see what editor Marcel DeClercq created using ALL of the above words. Can you top this 404-word masterpiece?
The terrestrial delegation to Trafalmadore displayed a distinct asymmetry, the result of prolonged marijuana use in hyperspace. The science officer squatted forlornly in a corner of the bridge staring hungrily at the Eurasian cook, who for days had been doing her best to famish him.
The navigator was struggling with a problem in celestial mechanics, not realizing that a divisor in the equation was equal to zero. Meanwhile, the Captain, higher than a loon, was experiencing the illusion that Albert Einstein was in the hall with Donald Trump, pegging the exchange rate on the Canadian dollar.
The ghost of Leonard Bernstein was roaming the corridors reciting Shakespeare. “Forsooth, Hamlet, I do forswear by all that’s Holy that a truce is declared twixt England and Elsinore.”
Back on Earth, in the Pomona Valley of Southern California, snow fell gently on Mt. Baldy as the long arm of the law did its best to detract from the demeaning spectacle of dogfish battling with the celebrated serpent of Lake Arrowhead.
At the Hollywood Ranch Market a highly biddable, boxy-looking, fiery-eyed temptress from Zagreb was trying to make something happen with a swarthy fellow Arkansan traveler who was immune to the charms of this devotee of Heraclites.
In the produce section, an aesthete addicted to the allure of avocados was thinking parenthetically about philanthropy, determined to introduce Bill Gates to a gaudy dancer whose spangled costume would coruscate at the drop of a hat. Alas, the artichokes were infected with an outbreak of anthracnose.
An effusion of legalese from Johnny Cochrane frightened a geriatric gnome from Bonn who kicked Cochrane in the crotch and then prepared slurry of plaster of Paris to repair Johnny’s shriveled testicles. He then used an electromagnet to transform the attorney’s throbbing member into an electret (a dielectric body in which a permanent state of electric polarization has been set up).
Deacon Muskrat and the ghost of Walt Kelly arrived, with a plan to cause Martha Stewart’s ova to multiply at an exponential rate. The plan involved using scrap metal salvaged from a Vincent Black Shadow motorcycle, but was subject to stoppage by Watkins Home Remedies.
With a pronounced fluency in Patagonian, the Deacon began to excoriate his partner in his best basso profundo voice, but Kelly, a student of animism, began to trot away. He escaped to Sicily, hiding out in Birgi, where the Deacon’s operatic castigations could no longer deafen him. |
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Winners of the "Dada Junk Contest" are announced in Issue 3. |
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