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Flash Fiction by J. D. Nelson
Recitals by Author impersonating Alvin
Art by Anonymous
'What's With Those Crossed Sabres?' (c)
What's With Those Crossed Sabres?

We watched as a gigantic dung beetle ate the sun right out of the sky, mumbling something about Atlantis rising again. What have you been using for toothpaste? Preparation X? Don't tell anyone about my drinking problem and I won't tell the manager at the grocery store about your black market light bulb operation.

It Didn't Grow Legs and Walk Away
'Art' (c) 2005-2006

Red time, blue coffee machine and purple cigarette -- don't let the machine color your emotions. The crayon manufacturers would never tell you not to eat the chewy center, with its amazing black spots. Where's my container of fried rice? I haven't eaten anything in six days. Green P. was becoming angry. It seemed that no food was safe in the kitchen anymore -- he had set the rice down on the counter and turned his back for a second. It couldn't have been Space Cat -- he hated rice. He turned his back for a second and someone grabbed the rice. Space Cat wasn't even there -- how could he have stolen the rice? Maybe he hired someone to steal the rice for him -- he's smart and I'm sure he's capable of coming up with an idea like that. Forget about the rice, OK? I'll just have some orange juice.

'7, 8, 9, 10' (c) 2005-2006
7, 8, 9, 10

Imagine a world of hot tubs and beer! Imagine a hot tub full of some hippie honey lager -- that's exactly what the old frog did as he plastered his capsule with pod posters. Nine knife tees for the police pimp lizard king thing -- if we looked past our fingers, we'd see just how far we could take things if we really put our minds to it. Knife tees for the night sale -- a fireworks village daddy king thing or whatever for the people again -- the tiny ones with knives for hands chopping the poor old frog. At the time of the chopping, no one was paying any attention to the dog drinking beer out of the hot tub.

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