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Poetry by Judith Kerman
Recital by Author
'Mi Tema, Mi Temor' © 2007 DK McDonald
'Mi Tema, Mi Temor' by DK McDonald


I turn the page
vuelvo la página
el idioma vuelve a mi boca

turns in my mouth
la lengua
into something, una cosa diferente
no sé si pueda hacer algo, una cosa, diferente

can I? the new object I want to make
hiding my face
el objeto nuevo que oculta mi cara
el objeto que quiero hacer

subject/object/subject matter
material/mater (an old juego de palabras, demasiado viejo)
mi tema
mi temor
si el libro no crece en mí
si no lo hago cada día
porque no lo hago
tengo que hacerlo
cada día

turn, turn away from it, re-
volve, turning in my mind away
to distractions, distracciones, destroying actions
so that I do not write
Discipline is knowing
what you want.
turn the page
turn the page
vuelvo la página
se vuelve la página

getting myself up in the morning
levantandome, the sunrise, the Levantine (is that Lebanon?)
these are juegos de palabras, nada más
el idioma vuelve a mi boca

returns to my mouth
la lengua
the object, the instrument, el aparato
I want something magical
aparato mágico

a loud voice speaking
hacerse todo unificado, wholeness, Ehad in Hebrew
Discipline is knowing what you want
the old demon, el demonio, vuelve a mí otra vez
dice que
I am too scattered
the desire to play          jugar    tocar
gets in my way
stands before my face
between my face and the world
my mother's face
cara (face, dear one, but that's Italian, isn't it?)
the mask of variety, polymath that can't do calculus
variability, distractability
dispersar, the image of scattering seed.
Esparcir - making sparse, also relaxing
Is it planting or wasting?
Gastar - to spend and to waste. The same word.
(Onan wasted his seed, his talents - a sin,
scattering instead of making something new)
Demonio - I think of the gargoyle I chose
as an icon for my Critic
diciendo: Not Good Enough!
the mask both hiding and revealing
I knew that. Lo supe.
mi tema
mi temor
mi amor

Discipline is knowing
what you want.
Quiero, otra vez, to find a mentor, a priest
with perfect understanding
who can help me do
what I feel I should already
know how to do
turn the page

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last update: July 2, 2007